Ungrounded: Fade out.

I feel the need to be justified in my own selfish desires-

I'm in a new city, experiencing brand new situations, people, and questioning my every belief.. which is good..

But quite different, and I find the more and more I am pushed outside my own lines-- the more I "faded" I become.

Faded is the perfect word for me, my equilibrium is off...and I'm unsure of it's delightfulness. Sometimes it seems great, when I don't feel utterly off my axis--and so not content it's not even funny. Content.. I wished so hard to NOT be that. To be pushed out of my comfort zone, questioning things I once took for granted, blindly believing. Blind. Unaware--

The more and more I live, the less and less delightful that blind outlook becomes. 

It really is a bitch coming to this conclusion, doubting and seeing the world for what it truly is: a not so loving, or understanding place.

Maybe the most unnerving thought is just how well I fit into the world I see around me..

The dreams I have, though true, are becoming honest to me.

And yes, there can be truth without honesty.

I suppose that realization is what scares...

Colonel Mustard in the basement with the rolling pin

I'm reminded of OK Go's "Here it goes again"-- in constant motion, without any advancement...and ah! Here it goes again.

Maybe this time Bittons will direct his jousting at the more than formidable and passively able opponent.

Why does that damned tiny Manila envelope hold so much intrigue?

Lets just hope the other players aren't as misguided when the envelope is opened.
God speed, players.

To the point

Woke up this morning at 5:45 with a sense of accomplishment.

Suffragettes parading through my mind, and duty marked each step.

Cue: fantastic instrumental music, which normally would accompany a Full House lesson.

If I'm not in Colorado tomorrow know things didn't go my way--and my renewed sense of self was just a ploy.