Retrospect.

I sit, bum completely numb--doing what all of us are bound to do once we are bored with the presents we've aquired.

Stand up, sit down, shut up--do whatever I need to do to get off this pedestal with thoughts that I sometimes have the gall to believe are so unique in their origins.

No finger pointing towards anyone. Promise.

Just looking at my adventure through a different lense.

Something Old,Something Borrowed--

So I've begun another blog, with the intention of a place where truth can be attempted..on the web.

It's similar to post secret, in all posters are anonymous--but anyone can post whenever. The blog is open, with the login and password on the blog itself.

Do check it out: perspectivesaside.blogspot.com, and if you're feeling particularly adventurous, do post or comment.

It's cool to see just how similar we all are.

Update: Okay, I'm an idiot and have a tough time remembering things I've begun.
The site is ACTUALLY: perceptionsaside.blogspot.com also over there --->
Thanks g- you humble me.

Ungrounded: Fade out.

I feel the need to be justified in my own selfish desires-

I'm in a new city, experiencing brand new situations, people, and questioning my every belief.. which is good..

But quite different, and I find the more and more I am pushed outside my own lines-- the more I "faded" I become.

Faded is the perfect word for me, my equilibrium is off...and I'm unsure of it's delightfulness. Sometimes it seems great, when I don't feel utterly off my axis--and so not content it's not even funny. Content.. I wished so hard to NOT be that. To be pushed out of my comfort zone, questioning things I once took for granted, blindly believing. Blind. Unaware--

The more and more I live, the less and less delightful that blind outlook becomes. 

It really is a bitch coming to this conclusion, doubting and seeing the world for what it truly is: a not so loving, or understanding place.

Maybe the most unnerving thought is just how well I fit into the world I see around me..

The dreams I have, though true, are becoming honest to me.

And yes, there can be truth without honesty.

I suppose that realization is what scares...

Colonel Mustard in the basement with the rolling pin

I'm reminded of OK Go's "Here it goes again"-- in constant motion, without any advancement...and ah! Here it goes again.

Maybe this time Bittons will direct his jousting at the more than formidable and passively able opponent.

Why does that damned tiny Manila envelope hold so much intrigue?

Lets just hope the other players aren't as misguided when the envelope is opened.
God speed, players.

To the point

Woke up this morning at 5:45 with a sense of accomplishment.

Suffragettes parading through my mind, and duty marked each step.

Cue: fantastic instrumental music, which normally would accompany a Full House lesson.

If I'm not in Colorado tomorrow know things didn't go my way--and my renewed sense of self was just a ploy.

Public Announcement in Bias

I know I said I wouldn't do this, but...

Vote. Now.

I think I'll go right now and do my thing. You see, in Colorado.... they let you vote early.

They even host a great speaker, with 100,000 of your closest friends...

Ahh, the voting process. It's great, and although I'm unsure of our system--I still believe our voices can be heard..even in places that seem like conservative, one-canidate-will-landslide-win, I'm not pro-abortion...but believe in the death penalty, handing stupid people guns, and not allowing people to certificately show their love AREAS.

Ahh, you are an intelligent person..and your say/vote/connect-the-dots-line counts.

So do your thang, and go into one of those nicely private booths...and don't shut up.

I am Alesha Machuca not lamesauce, and I approve this message.

Shellfish with tartar.

My mind is mad, and filled with thoughts that are probably...not the most condusive! That's why I attempt to fill the all too mindful trash, with people I don't know-- in a setting I'm not too familiar with.

A busy, and at many times increadibly self absorbed crowd. All of us believing our every action/thought/drink consumed under total speculation of those around...our adoring fans?

The small-ness of the world is something that has constantly been on my mind.

Now, this may not be on account of our selfish-ness-- but the technology which allows us to showcase our every characteristic- shading it in whatever light we want.

A false idealization, which (I believe) can be a serious downfall. Not only arewe believing our "shades"...we're making those around us fall into the same. Do I believe we can create ourselves to be who/ what we want to be? Yes.

But, I also believe that there are certain characteristics we choose to leave absent. Not that things/perspectives of humanity have changed...No...

Just that our fabrications are becoming larger-- more elaborate, to the point that we lose who we truly are and in the long run

Become quite disappointed.

We have/ find ourselves falling so short of the expectations we once held ourselves to.

Mind you, I'm not perfect, and have fallen into this terrible trap....I'm not asking everyone (or anyone for that matter) to change their 'selfish, inconsiderate, and fogged up ideas', just awareness.

When people begin texting in the middle of serious conversations -- taking themselves out of that relationship and...

what I'm attempting to say (and really not getting it out) is that we've loss our sense of social grace. Or maybe we're redefining it--

Okay enough of that talk, I'm boreing myself.

Election. I am sooo tired of it all..and cannot understand...

No talk of election, it's bombarding us enough-- last thing I need is to see much mention on this "blog".

My hands are aching to write, but I am terrified of not finding a replacement journal/thought keeper/notebook. I am too picky and have yet to find something right. If you happen to know, do tell me...call it a sanity plea.

Sorry about the boring post. I promise to be interesting next time....or fool you (and myself)into believing I am).

Joy with Altitude.

Funny.

Bittons enjoyed his evenings, and yet found those could still make his stomach turn...

with anxiety and dread.

Oh life, thank you--

and I know you'll set all things straight.

On with the show!

When I'm Square-

(I think it's funny that I never "blog" anything when I have mad change happening-yet reflecting comes in still times. Never when change is occuring--only in times of "was".)

Humanity.

I'm coming to the wonderful realization that I hold those around me to terribly high expectations. This equates to an inner battle with myself.. which normally amounts to a large ball of irritation.

I have a hard time allowing people to be the humans they are, which is ridiculous as I know I am no better, and find it impassable to meet standards. That is something I must work on--as it's not fair to others, nor does it promote growth in relationships...

Which is what it's all about--why does inner conflict occur? Eh, I suppose it breaks monotony.

Cambric's on Monday's have the ability to put your entire day into perspective...I love them, and YES- if I could marry them/it/liquid/thing/tea/noun, I would. Also: enjoy St. Marks if you're in Denver--solid coffee and tea selections plus a great atmosphere--and who can beat sitting on church pews and enjoying the company around?!

It's fascinating to see how many times people ask me what ethnicity I am, here. Just a few minutes ago, I had someone ask me stating that "in Colorado everyone's white, so when I see someone else it make me wonder"...

I should just throw the next person off, by saying I'm Irish--but have a skin defect, which has scarred me both physically and emotionally.

It would be laughs, but also a mouthful--and I'd probably end up speaking in a British accent...

This brings me to my next unrelated point: I'm doing that accent so much I'm begining to think in it..particularly on the bike home from work. My comments are on the old houses that riddle my path..as well as the many sidewalk cracks which often results in "bugger it" through clenched teeth and hand tightening round handle bars...

(note: I've run into a Brit everyother day--and believe confidence has outworn the actual accent.)

Another note: I think it's interesting how Alice grew tired of her Wonderland so quickly.. she thought her true reality was ridiculous, but her dreams were not what they seemed to be--nothing was as it seemed..

which grew old..fast. And Bittons continued the trek--viewing nothing as he originally believed it was.

The Majority..hopefully.

...and life takes off...

I'm getting into the swing of things, and (once again) enjoying what and who is around me.

As many know, last week the DNC was in Denver--which provided many crazies: both in people and situations.

The week begun with Equalitea, which was hosted by The Feminist Majority--thanks to them, I was invited to the tea-- and given another ticket for a friend.
Now, if you know me you'd understand te excitement of this event...it was as if someone asked me to plan an event for the DNC, which included all things that were important to me politically--and an assortment of good teas..
The event was wonderful, despite the crowd of pro-life crazies lining the entrance of the venue with pamphlets and gorey pictures of fetuses. It was a little disconcerting coming up to the hotel, and seeing such hateful faces staring back at me (many of which under the guise of Christianity). It was sickening, and reminded me just how much I despise what Christianity has become socially.
ANYWAY! The event had an assortment of FANTASTIC strong female speakers--one of which was the "Si se puede!" creator, Dolores Huerta!
My expectations (though high) were met..completely. Huerta is someone that inspires so directly, yet is soo humble- and I learned is QUITE the partier...
I took a friend that knows me through Sterling, and was raised in the midwest bible belt--her response? "How did you ever go to Sterling?"-- touche.
How did that happen?

Work: Greenpeace. It's great, I'm a canvaser and I already enjoy it--the people I work with and the cause I am supporting... Not too shabby for a first job in Denver!

For Future Reference: When new to Colorado, make sure to drink and eat enough before a night of drinking and bike riding...effects are not pretty when both are missed!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jO9p6e4SWLM

Finding Southwestern beauty in layovers..

This is nice--crazy, dizzying, and...bohemian- but right all the same.

First post from Denver, in a Starbucks, thanks to Marissa..

Denver.

It's right, despite showing me consecutive rainy days. Looking back at the summer, and the experiences and people that have been placed in my life- Denver is perfect.

Not in the "I'm running away from my problems and think that ANY new setting would be great", but in the "I'm running into people, places, and organizations that have similar outlooks/passions as I do". (Excuse the long sentences in quotes, I think I'm cool and feel the need to phrase things in "bunny ears")

The flight I took to Denver had a 45 minute layover (I have difficulty typing that word without laughing internally) in Phoenix, which was too short a time to actually see my family. It was strange to be in a place I know so well, and not have the "freedom" to explore the way I'm used to.

I found myself holding on to each and every familiar Arizona landscape, Papago Park--cacti--even enjoying the pink and turquoise, feathers on any available surface with leather- southwestern "motifs" which riddle much of the Sky Harbor giftshops..

I've despised the southwestern "art" since I was a small child--yet I found myself okay viewing the tacky makeshift abomination attempting to be Latin and Native American art.

It was weird, and not an experience I'd like to again have. I hope thiat was a little entertaining or you clicked on that cute little X to the right of this screen, and saved us both a headache..

Now? I'm listening to Christmas music because I'm of the rare breed that actually enjoys the lame music and can almost smell fireplaces and mexican hot chocolate in the air...

I'll have stories soon--so beware.

Untitled Caution

Wow. I just realized how excessively long that paragraph was-

Forgive me. Read the below entry at your own risk.

WARNING: Do not read below if operating heavy machinery, have 2 minutes left to live, or value brain cells.

Cold Showers and Conclusions.

It's Saturday night, and I'm on the computer.

In short: I'm a loser.

For some absurd reason I feel I'm missing out on something spectacular if I'm not filling my time with...activities. I guess right now my drinking English tea (thank you very much), blogging, and listening to Postal Service just isn't good enough for me. Yet I still sit.

Might as well make the most of it and inform my vast audience of my all too interesting life:

Today is what I call my "overwhelmed everything hitting me at once" day.

I just finished a week of camp at Forest Home, which was wonderful...but DRAINING.

DRAINING. Being a counselor was interesting, mainly because I have come to the conclusion that I am very selfish with my time- and I can learn A LOT from high school girls concerning vulnerability and love...which really is one in the same.

I like to reflect: camp doesn't exactly allow for that as a counselor.

Meanwhile, I met some great people--was called out on things, calmed my acting ache, and danced like a madwoman in a mud pool--then was humbled by cold showers. (Boy do I take things for granted..!)

I was astounded by the amount of counselors that came to camp in hopes of broadening their own social circles, rather then focusing on the teens they were to mentor/be emotionally available for. Disappointing, really.

Anyway, I'm back--and am attempting to recall what happened last week...but am mentally exhausted.

On another note:

I know you are quite interested to know how the all too musically gifted Jonas Brothers went!

1. Yes- I went to a Jonas Brothers concert

2. Yes- I made a t-shirt...after vowing (as an Nsync fan) to never do such a thing.

3. Yes- I screamed. But, in my defense..the teenage energy was infectious, and I found myself falling back into old Nsync habits.

4. Yes- I sang along. (Try not to judge too harshly, I've had a summer with teenagers)

5. No, I did not pay full ticket price.

Looks like the only redeeming fact was my not paying full ticket price.

Anyway, it was fun..and the ONLY reason I went was because girls from the youth group asked me to go. Uh. Lets call it a "ministry opportunity", okay? Anyway, fun-- yay.

I followed that by going to a concert I actually wanted to see: Rooney, they were playing on Sunset the Friday before camp, and knowing I'd be looking at pictures of the Jonas Bros in a cabin all week--the idea of Rooney was all too appealing.

Before the show went to grab some food near the venue, and guess who I saw?

YUP.

The ONLY place I decide to go, the Jonas Brothers are conveniently eating at as well . I was really upset at them for destroying my one Disney Bros free moment. In conclusion: they turned out to be really decent guys.

For Future Reference: VIP rooms in Hollywood are REALLY overrated, but if you feel the need to see one--get smashed. It seemed the only way people could fully enjoy that "exclusive" experience.

Woah.

I finally gave away a secret.

It was exhilarating....

Seeming Date With the Devil...

After looking at previous posts I've decided I've said very little about myself, call it a defense mechanism--whatever...

I promise this will involve me.

Me. As in, calling it the biased way I see it--what "it" entails, I'm not too sure..we'll see where my fingers lead me.

Okay, so this summer I am working at a church doing youth work--I'm still not entirely certain what that means, but I do know it involves a calender.

I hate 'said calender'.

I really really hate it.

(WARNING: Simpson's analogy ahead, if no prior knowledge is had, skip ahead)

It's made me feel like Homer Simpson, the moo-moo wearing Homer that decided he wanted to work from home--this lead to him buying a bird to peck at a specific key over and over--causing him to almost cause a nuclear meltdown in the town of Springfield.

He's an idiot, and couldn't work the computer program--giving the task to some crazy bird thing.

Thats me.. I have no clue how to adequately get events and information across in a box the size of a damn sharpie. I've had to redo the calander and change event times 5 times--and now I'm going on a 6th.. I know, the whole Simpsons analogy is a bit of a stretch--but thats how I feel with this task.

I am in need of a good 'ol Mundies WTF-- but a lack of time is my issue.

Peanuts not included.

Airports.
The most interesting place to watch people, who all seem to be on some dire mission. I wonder who is running away from situations, and what they might be hiding.
It's so busy...and tends to inflict paranoia.
I find myself profiling, clinging onto my two carry-ons for dear life, danger and likeliness of a bomb being burried in my small 'fits in the overhead compartment' bag. Guised as being far too real to deal with.
I attempt escape.

My overactive imagination finds me in an overly sunny, safe, and dry Heathrow--at tea time. The multitude of accents surrounding me, unfortunately, encourages this act.
It's just people watching best when combined with Earl Grey and a crazy lemon pastry (no relation to the party)--which I feel compelled to consume, on account of the familial gesture.

How do blind people have style?
Very shallow, I know--but thats what happens when in an airport for an extended amount of time, thanks to a delayed flight.
I've come up with theories:
1. The individual's taste in music. Now this concerns teenagers, mainly--and can be explained if one likes Fiddy; causing a 'hip-hop' style. ICP? Think dark, velcro with straps--and red stitching. Or maybe the person likes some crazy awesome band, like...oh I don't know, the format. In this said blind (but wicked music tasted) person's case, their fanastic taste in music crosses over into wardrobe, and any faux pas is non-existant may
2. Crazy maternal/paternal likings, which could find the person in polo's and khakis--or crazy tie-dye with jeans. (The latter would be much more interesting, and personality filled)
Haha, khakis--what a word!
3. Textures. Now this can be interesting. Whatever that individual likes to feel is worn.
Oooh. I can take that statement to mad levels...but I will refrain.

Thanks for listening reader, my flight is finally here.

Be thankful--and lets hope it doesn't crash!

A Retort, and Rambling (In no particular order)

Hope.
That's what we've been hooked on,
a hope our country has not seen since the 1960's...
It's unfortunate that we've been dealt so many horrible hands, and the idea of something good without fine print is just not even in our vocabulary--
it registers as ludicrous, even absurd that we could deserve something of worth.
It's unfortunate we are able to look at true garbage, being swayed and misinformed to the point of whole-heartedly fooling ourselves into scared submission

Without question or complaint.

We deserve something good--
Something truthful
Something of valor.

We DO have power, and ARE intelligent creatures-
Created to question, doubt, and be informed to full capacity.

Lets use that intelligence
Question completely, because that is the reason we are so loved
Grab your grain of salt, and take a little time out to discuss:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_E4N5YIycI

Transitioning Water, and too many posts.

I find myself sitting in my room listening to Ben Lee--Catch My Disease, with clothes, used tea cups, and a pile of "give this stuff away because I've not touched it all year" surrounding me.

It's a love/hate relationship I have with my constantly transitional life. The love aspect I've grown to appreciate...maybe on account of the few responsibilities I have and the knowledege that soon responsibilities are about to pile.

But I'm okay in this moment, and this moment is really all that matters. I find it absolutely maddening that soon I'll be in Arizona and small things will change:

My "Recent Calls" list will change dramatically, and many of the people here in Sterling I'll never have communication with again.

It's unfortuante I am so apathetic concerning the latter-

New friends will be had and different experiences will occur, I trust that those I have built deep relationships with will continue to be present in my life.

Haha, Life. It's a mad, mad thing. An Ardent Adventure, thats for sure.

I am enjoying life's small luxuries: dove chocolate. If you've yet to experience dove, I'll fill you in on one of my favorite aspects of these small morsels of chocolatey goodness--the "Promises message", which is printed on the inside of the wrapper..think hershey's, only these make you want to comsume more chocolate, and have a way of taking away any chocolate guilt you may have. My message: Discover yourself. Yeah, I know pretty broad.

But it makes me feel better, causing me to believe this one chocolate inspired message was meant for Alesha, the confused and excited almost 20 something.

Lame, and silly--eh. Honest.

Ooh, learned that I am the epitome of the word I believed, and the (lit.)definition proves it: subordinates form to content, encourages freedom of treatment, emphasizes imagination, emotion, and introspection, and often celebrates nature, the ordinary person, and freedom of the spirit--also: imbued with or dominated by idealism, a desire for adventure.

One day I'll grow up and be realistic..

But that day is no time soon....and I am content.

Tea for two--and two for green.

I write you again in the same state as my last entry...

But I feel like I can only be creative with little sleep and too much caffeine coursing through my veins. "Sure, (you say) it's caffeine now..but what next?! Your tea infused with...(audible gasp) GRASS?!" Not of the lawn variety...

I'm making all too many spelling mistakes to care, but I feel a bit ashamed of myself--after all I am in a facebook group entitled: I judge you when you use poor grammar.

I'm a hypocrite. We've all thought it, I'm just reaffirming the fact..."factualizing", if you will. I think the prior sentence would be best said with monocle in hand and mustache on face-

maybe a slight British accent, for sophisticosity. (Newly formed word. Remember, you heard it here first.)

Post-it Notes are overlooked--one can grasp enough wisdom to encompass a lifetime, maybe two..if you pay attention, and read into absolutely everything they say:

Sad note: I drink Rockstar energy drinks in hopes they will turn me into a rockstar, or maybe just have a shred of musical ability...

I know it won't actually turn me into a rockstar, but I feel cooler when I drink it--I'm playing right into the hands of those catchy advertisers. "The Man" strikes again.

Don't you worry, I will be fighting that all summer--think tea, surf, drinking tea on the surf, buying solely organic, and never washing my clothes.

On a COMPLETELY unrelated note: Happy day after Earth Day, try abstaining from styrofoam--it'll cut 400 years off the earth..and mama earth would be greatly appreciative!

(I think I'm too cool to label my posts...or maybe just not creative enough)

Three minutes of your life can be better spent elsewhere--

Funny how I find myself in the same place, writing for the same reasons..and allowing (as well as avoiding) the same types of papers which gnaw at my person.

WHY do I find it so difficult to plan ahead, and not be bogged down by last minute-all nighter-caffiene induced-rants?

The world may never know, Mr.Owl--but I do love the sound of rain on a glass window, and the soon to be smell of coffee...

After making said coffee, (and by making, I mean placing agua and grounds in their respective place--not taking a mule to Colombia and grinding my own beans) I realized just how lame my knowledge of coffee is...tea is so much easier, only knowledge required is steeping time...and that those with excessive amounts of sugar and milk have yet to aquire proper pallates... Note the snobbery with which I label new tea appreciators! Twas I who had to ask the proper amount of grounds placed in the coffee pot--! To be honest? I had no clue where the water went, safe to say my guess was correct and the room is filled with the scent of my...

right-doings..?

Which (thanks to my lack of sleep) brings me to a question thats been haunting me for a little over a week... could mary-jane/weed/hash/reefer-and the like be appreciated in tea form--which gives an entirely new definition to 'loose-leaf tea'.

Ahh, I am finally going crazy. BUT, I will say that after extensive research (ie: members of my 'I've put off the biofoudations paper and find myself in an entirely new frame of mind' study group have clued me in) Reefer Tea- is possible! Life's unanswerables, CAN be answered.

So, like I said a few posts before: new things and avenues are opening up.

I'm excited, and am thinking I should be a lot more nervous about them...but that feeling is difficult to muster, when there is so much affirmation and peace.

Right, Reader--be sure to check out this blog in about 3 months to see me eat my words.

Really, I will--and I expect you to hold me accountable.

Oh, do forgive me for wasting valuable minutes of our life...I think you should go out and do something GREAT. Like walk the stereotypical granny across the street, or save a dog/baby/old woman from a burning building...

Poor old women, they get the raw end of...

I'm not making ANY sense, I used the word 'twas' and allowed my unfiltered thoughts to be typed--which is my cue to leave.

Bees bring in prophet-

Even more then you know. Really.

So, I saw a bee yesterday..which is astounding, as there is such a shortage in the population of bees.
(Back to story)
The bee was not buzzing, it seemed to not care. As if buzzing became mundane, and ordinary.
I had a feeling the bee longed to be set apart- and challenged. To flourish in every sense: pollinating, flying, and buzzing--for a purpose.
The direction was questionable, but buzzing could not continue without purpose.

Anyway, thats about all I have to say- besides the whole American Apparel mission to 'Legalize L.A.' I am all for it, and think you should check it out--my dearest reader! http://americanapparel.net/contact/legalizela/

Check out the video, I never said California was perfect.
Just when I think we're moving forward as a society, things like this happen.
Thoughts? I know it's invoked something---unless you're lamesauce.

It's not about the text. Ask Bittons.

Times are changing, technology is crazy--and with each new discovery or encounter, I slowly realize...

Wow. I am biased.

Maybe this is something I've always been, but it seems that (perish the thought) I've become set in many ways.

I cannot seem to challenge my viewpoint/outlook.This worries me--if it's begun, where will the ingorance/arrogance end? It's not all down hill from here- I refuse to eat prunes, play serious shuffleboard, and be uber conservative. (I love you conservatives, believe me. My heart is just not directed there.)

Oooh, it may make sense to fill you in on why these thoughts are occuring: http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23482682-401,00.html It's about a couple having a child, only it's the husband that's carrying.

Mad, mad. Don't get me wrong, everyone has a right to have children/family, but this is a new concept! I am all for tearing apart stereotypes..but this blew me out of the water.

Yes, the father was born a woman and I understand that. But, wow. The concept is--

Certainly different. How many husbands would be willing to carry a child, full term? Would you? Would I? Good question, Alesha. I don't know, and prefer not knowing. But, but if I were a man, would I choose to have a child, given the choice was plausible? NO, thanks for offering. I've been in a birthing room, and that is one place I would not want to be anywhere near if I wasn't 'official ice chip daughter'. (Though in this case, I'd be son right? Oh, I've confused myself. Lovely.)

Like I began, technology is crazy.

One acts: Fun, despite the short time frame which doesn't allow for much cast bonding--which is what makes it fun. (Apart from the ability of stepping outside yourself, and seeing things in a ficticious form...could I sound anymore new age? Eh. It's passion, not fault.)Maybe I'm not supposed to be challenged..? Oh. But I want to be, desprately.

Bitton's grew agitated after watching TCM, and wanted to emit confidence. But was discouraged after learning he would have a hard time stepping onto any form of public transportation once he was free. If only all things were as easy as those classic movies.

It's a trick, really. Let your thoughts come forth and not be stiffled, allow your heart to speak---without shame.

You scratch your head, I sleep.

All fours, and mountains to boot.

Yes.
Actually, I just slip down stairs with an enormous amount of grace and a blasting of syllables--not to mention this ridiculously impressive 'sliding action' I pull off down the remainder.
Anyway, we're in exciting times. Really.
?
I believe it, but am having a hard time actually treating each moment as such. This time is fantastic, but I'm sure more so in retrospect.
The world is vast, and my heart is wanting to explore it all...all the possibilities and people, but one thing stands in my way--and I'm sure it's for good reason, as I'm probably not mature enough to deal with---I am not making a bit of sense.

I'll continue to do so.

The best ideas come in the solace of the night--and everything seems to make sense in the quiet morning hours.
One thing I've discovered, and been thinking about?

I am not a mountain, nor should I be sifted through. I am obvious..and honest.
I'm on my own search, and the peaks have become mounds-
crumbling under the prodding masses. Confusion and fright motivating each pick blow. Not a girl's best friend- a treasure myth

Pretend I'm behind a curtain, and pay no attention, reader! I make little sense, and the day is overcast. (As if that excuses my thought process)

2 kool 4 necessities

If only it were that easy, heads of professors actually blew up when pomp was rubbed into their face...

It's been awhile, mainly because I am very important; having important people to see and places to "appear". I really should begin charging people to hangout with me. (wow, could you imagine?) I'll give up on school and become notorious for doing nothing, like Paris Hilton--or Joan Rivers..

My thoughts are so scattered, I have a hard time remembering why I began this 'entry'- and am efficiently wasting my time- and yours..reader. Sorry, but YOU are the one still reading...so it's hardly my fault.

Here's to The Format, 'popping-it', and snowballs.

Undifferentiated melodies--

I had no clue recordings were in existance, nor do I know how to explain the sound--other than...


Androgenous.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wv-S3uoeTXg

Could you even fathom a more extreme dedication art...? Not to mention the poor boys forced into this lifestyle by parents in hopes of profit.

Then again, emasculation may be the least of one's worries when dealing with the new 'strain' of stage parents. Poor poor Bindsay and Lritney.

I'm just not that dedicated...and lack the equipment.

Lemonade To Be Made..

It's so easy to complain about things you're unhappy with, the funny thing is that years later, the things you lacked-- never fill memories. Being unhappy has become an artform, one that everyone feels they must be proficient in.

If we don't have anything to complain about, then obviously we have nothing to say-and our opinions are worthless. Don't get me wong, improving yourself and having standards certainly is beneficial..but how much can we change and enjoy if the focus is on all things fallen short?

If we shifted our focus and enjoyed the moments, I think learning to appreciate what we have wouldn't be as difficult.

So, although I am a ball of stress that hides it well--I am appreciating sunfilled afternoons, friends accross the hall, music that instantaneously brings warmth and smiles, trader joe's rasin medley, and a mouth which smoked too many cigars..

Propaganda, sticks.

Ha, there are more of us then you may think...and they are just as disgusted as we are.

I'm up for being a part of a revolution--really, one 'clean hippie' at a time..
The Beatles were right, all you really need is love.
And not the lame hearts and romance that has been associated with this love idea...just kindness and understanding. We lack that..

Love. Not propaganda.

I could go on for hours, but I feel this is a conversation that could be had (and will be) and beaten with a stck--and still we have no resolution, just a bunch of people wanting to 'cause change, but sleeping instead'.

Myself included.