Bravo, Over-Achievers!

Ditto.

Now, direct me to the 'Get Me Out Of College' sign-ups--

Stroking Egos--One Thought At A Time...

It's finals week.

I was sitting in the computer lab today---which creeps me out, on account of numerous hands touching the keyboards--and began typing up one of the many papers procrastination had delt me, when I looked at the white boards on the wall to my left. There were over twenty quotes written up there, and I began reading--anything to delay actual schoolwork...
I tried to find one quote that had some sort of meaning, but only found shallow, lack-luster verbal illustrations. It seemed as if the writers were delaying their own work, riddling the whiteboard with jeeves' answer to: 'good+quotes'..or looking up their 'deep' friend on facebook's infamous quote wall.
With every uneventful quote I began wondering..... do we write to provoke thoughts--or stroke egos?

Whether it's a quote written to distract you from your work, academic papers that end up becoming idols to that 4.0 ideal, or just to prove we are capable of original thought---we're all guilty.
Look at me, hey I'm not proud.

What does this have to do with anything, my reader asks. Nothing, maybe.
I hate spelling out things, but am afraid my brain has yet to withdrawl off the crack I've been using to allow my academic career to be a success...

In a nutshell: My hope is that passion will win in the end.

I don't think thats too unrealistic, but then again...I've never taken logic, and am sure my thoughts are riddled with inconsistancies.

Normally I like to have written meaning to my posts...



But when something so great, and life changing comes your direction--it's wrong to keep others in the dark.



Words, I'm afraid are not sufficient.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJQVlVHsFF8

Pasta in it's prime...

Quick.

Salina dresses with a mix of exploration causes women to behave differently...

cooking pasta in different forms, one that Sterling College would appreciate, when not laying on sofas.

A la Phallic.

I'm destressing...

Take note.

I've discovered that sometimes you can never prepare, it despite the ten hours of studying...you'll just never have it.
I continue longing for the water, it's eeked into my dreams...I continue to wander in a place combining California and Kansas....Maybe it's just Sterling in California? All I know is that I'm still a bit bored, and have been labeled what John Bender warns Claire of being. Eh.

So, Bitton's has made some decisions...he decided to stop driving, and taking public transit. It's easier to not bother with an unneeded stress, he didn't really want forever.

Rootbeer.

We shortchange ourselves, and take what the world dishes out.
It's time we abandon our insecurites and trust that our longings and dreams are purposefully placed...the impossible is impassable, and words are all that hold us back.

Words are powerful, but only if you choose to make them so.

Whats stopping you?
Faliure?
That significant bit only leads to better understanding of yourself and the world around you...failing is inevitable, so fail on.
Rejection?
The place courage stems, allowing better realization and comprehension of what you truthfully deserve.

Fly.
Jump.
Swim.
Dance.
Sing. Honestly.
Just
Be
Happy.

Randomosity: Waste two life minutes...

Oh the struggles of life...or stupidity.
Once again I join the ranks as a cynic, and tyrade this blog with a rant:

I like being an individual.
I enjoy my independence.
I'm terrified.
I enjoy The Eagles, they put me in a good mood.
I don't think I made it.

Does this make any sense? Yeah, thats my mind for you.

ANYWAY. Fall Breather, and I'm getting away from Sterling....I need a break.

Ahhh. One thing I'm happy about? Uh.

?

We'll see--damn I'm one big ball of hot pink happiness. I'm not like this often, and I'm not running suicide through my head...I'm just a downer--where's the crack? That'll make me feel better.

Catch you on the flipside, which can only amount to a better post.

Regrets,

Not really. HA!

Cynically Asking Questions.

Okay, so this week's postsecret postcard reads 'I Want To Go Back To Believing In Everything And Knowing Nothing At All' ....This is something I can completely relate to.
I've become cynical.
I'm not sure I like it. I mean, I know that we are supposed to question things, to gain knowledge...but I've found myself going into situations with doubt in my heart. It's a restless way of living, and I want to get out of this cycle.
Why is this on my mind, you may ask? (Even if that wasn't a question that popped into your head..you can't answer me now--I've already stopped writing and not thinking about an online 'blog') Well, today I was in chapel and I have found that I'm not allowing Him to shine through a repetitive enviornment. Thats the short of it, but the long of it? I can't stand getting the same evangelical message every Sunday, and having to raise my hand like a child in preschool with a nonexistant attention span... I've been tuning out any message that might be hidden within the 'message' given EVERY SUNDAY AND WEDNESDAY.
Okay, I'm finished with that rant...Rants that aren't completely humorous are hard to enjoy, and I'm sorry for boring you--if you're still even following! (I know I wouldn't be)
So, this weekend 'The Family' minus Ben, and our Crazy Uncle is going to Belleville to hangout. Then we'll be RTing it up to Omaha for Mike's show. It's an exciting thing, and exciting things will be coming out of it..hopefully! I know there are plans for exploring an abandoned house, which I've always wanted to do..actually I kind of demanded it. (I am VERY high maintenence, and have begun drinking water ONLY at 30C.)
I have demands that must be met.
Or I.......throw large amounts of feathers. (Don't even ask, I haven't the slightest.)
Oh, we've begun a new game on campus: Blow darts.
It's mimed blow darting, and the victim has to fall over (dead), if the assailant has successfully made eyecontact.
I've been blowdarted at VERY opportune moments, ie: in front of a camera, at the beginning of a line at dinner, and the moments continue. I actually enjoy it...it's a fun thing, and makes things a little more interesting here, in good 'ol Sterling Kansas.

I'm off for some amazing nutritious snacks...aka rasins and whatever else seems to whet my appetite.

Shallow stingers

Yes, I am more then psyched...especially after the many HS Musical birthday reminders. The second is out August 17th, incase you were clinging on to dear life---pull the plug on the 18th, and you will live a better llife because of it.

But really. My summer has been just great, and I'm happy to say that I've caught some pretty sweet waves--and pulled a stinger out of Violet's hand. Babysitting is great fun, and very coinvienient--you're able to hangout, eat, and get paid for it all. Though, there are those moments that throw you for a loop, like my experience last night. I am sitting for a family that goes to my grandparents church, two really cool kids: Violet (7) and Steven (11). They both are very active, so keeping up is something they're sure to push me with! Anyway, we were heading out to the basketball courts, and Violet went to get her jump rope...and quickly ran back in sobbing--with the end of a bee in her palm.

THIS is where I freak out. But only on the inside---all I could see is her falling over convulsing and foaming at the mouth (this is my idea of an allergic reaction), the next day, my picture in the paper with something like 'SITTER HORROR IN SANTA CLARITA' spread below it. On the outside I was cool, collected, and took charge of the situation..teasing about bee butts, and placing ice in a paper towel. Later, while I was cleaning the 'dot', Violet said she was getting dizzy...and needed to sit down....then she passed out and begun convulsing.

Not really.

Birthday--woohoo. The day began well with a birthday card informing me I was going to see WICKED and breakfast with my grandpa. The day couldn't be better, until I was suprised by a friend of mine and my sister who drove from Arizona to visit. Thank goodness, because I've really needed to be around Rachel. Anyway, as the stay continued, I began to realize that my friendship with this girl was not the same. When things like this happen, it's hard to distinguish or even pinpoint change between two people, and often times, the blame is placed on one party.

In this case? It's all her fault, and I hate her. I wish I never became friends with her in the first place.

But honestly? I have a hard time being friends with someone that is so negative, and consistent in placing blame on others and pointing faults. I am of the thought that if you believe you're 'Holy-errr then thou', step back and take a look that the relationships around you. Those around you..and then see that you're no better--or worse then anyone else, and in the grand scheme of things?? MONEY doesn't matter.

Dear Reader,

Why exactly do you read this nonsense? I know it's hard to understand, and trust that the content flows directly from the writers head. Once again, I ask that you take the reading with a block of salt and carry on, knowing that you have just wasted three minutes of your time.

*NOTE: Sarcasm runs rampant, and the internet is a poor place to allow it unleashed.

Tell me your problems--in the summer..

Summer.

It's God's way of showing us that the year truly did have a purpose. Really though, I am stoked about having days in California--my Grandpa just informed me he got a new surfboard, for me to try out? If only all summer days could begin with impromtu lipsynching to Liam Lynch's 'My United States of Whatever'--in pajamas mind you. My only plan for the day is watching an indie movie in Scottsdale.
What is the use of growing up? Many find themselves trapped in jobs they despise, with little time to do anything they actually want to.
Normally this is the time I reflect on the year, but I don't want to. It's not that the year was horrible--I am just finished with it, and am completely alright with leaving it behind me.

Enough of that. But truly, the summer is upon us and I am counting down the days until I'm in California (FYI-we're at 16 days). Thank goodness for hot summer days, passion ice tea, friends, and limitless condidtions. :) One thing I've discovered since being back in Arizona? Sometimes the only way of staying sane is in being selfish. Placing your sanity in front of others, because there is no way of making it when you can't help yourself. Allowing others to unload their problems on you is not always in YOUR best interest, saying no isn't always a witchy move.

Anything interesting happens, I'll be sure to inform you last---but trust that Jack Johnson, ice, and NO DRAMA will be front row for it all.

Thankyou, and goodnight.

Friendly actions gone awry....

My last wish almost became a reality, yesterday a tornado touched down in Nickerson--and was around five miles south of Sterling...ALMOST. I really was hoping the sudden disaster would dwarf the research papers that are due this Thursday. Saying this Thursday makes the time seem to be longer--rather then saying tomorrow. Onto the placed 'title'...

Thats right, folks. My actions are once again misinterpreted....on several different levels. :) That emoticon represents my excitation for the school year to end.

In the words of the great (or not so great) Alex Greenwald 'California, California...here we coooooome...' Trust me when I say that the days are dwindling--homework is piling up, and I have my eye on the prize: a summer without Froese. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the man...but after Learning Theory and Research Methods? I'm done. I know the summer won't be perfect, but with a coastline and two amazing grandparents--it's pretty close.

Displace me-this Saturday in Kansas City, a bunch of us are making the 'trek' to further our understanding of a war that is going on in Uganda. One that makes children the ulitimate victims, causing them to be so petrified of being captured that they leave their families to sleep in cardboard "lean-to's" without anyone to care for them. How sad that they cannot be children, and are placed in situations many of us couldn't imagine: brute force to the extreme, seeing family members killed, and the thought of being kidnapped to be trained as a killing machine--all at the age of 8. Guerilla warfare at it's finest. 'Displace Me' is an event where a bunch of people all over the counrty are getting together to petition this war through mass 'sleepage', and fasting type stuff.... We're going up Friday night and meeting-volunteer style.

Must go and pretend to do something. :)

A dreary day in Sterling Kansas...

Never have I ever longed for a tornado to smash through Sterling--until now. Not for the need of destruction, but solely for the ability to get some much needed rest.

I am in learning theory, and can genuinely say that I cannot stand this class, and it has caused me to falter in other classes...thank goodness I'm not alone in this.

Postcard? Well it didn't show up when I attempted to post it, but it was titled "My Dreams Seem So Far Away" Ooh, I know it realtes to MANY right now. It seems that this semester has taken hold of quite a few, and has caused feelings of despair for the present. It seems to be so depressing to do tedious work that will in no way, shape, or form benefit you in the career one has been called to.

I'm tired and in need of sleep--I get back to you when I'm not Debbie Downer.

Not romantic--but hearts all the same.

So, I took a 'sick day' Thursday....sometimes I think we all need days off, solely to keep sanity. 'Sanity day', 'Sick day'...whatever.
Valentines Day has become the topic of discussion, and I'm late on the bandwagon. How great is it? I love being cynical, or pretending to be (there truly isn't a cynical bone in my body) so my Valentine's Day stance was "what a commercial singles awareness day"...this year, I took a 'refined' step, and appreciated the people around me-- I don't believe we do that often. Romance? Eh. Love doesn't center around that, despite what society tells us.

Love takes all forms....not just romantic man-woman-hearts-roses-and rings. So enjoy those around you, and make them aware of it.

About the postcard: My roommate and I were talking at lunch last week, and she asked me if I would ever pretenf that 'if I finished eating something I didn't like--I would get a million dollars'...well I can't say that I ever have, but there is another one out there! :)

Responsible Students Need Not Apply...

Sooo...a new semester has begun, and I'm swimming in a bowl of jello...

Not really. But I'd love to...actually, there is a lot going on and I am excited about the three hours of homework for learning theory that is had everyother day.

Sarcasm is lost..and I have class to go to.

Catch you on the flip side...Let's hope it's good.

Before I die, or scab over....

Skateboarding.

It's been something I have ALWAYS wanted to do, which happens to be on my list of 'stuff to do before I die'. I think I'm making great strides in my 4 days of attempting, but have found that there is only so much you can do in a straight and narrow parking lot.

I thought I mastered my footing until I decided to skate one night in the dimly lit parking lot. I'm just happy the attractive next door neighbor wasn't there to see me royaly biff it. My five year old sister has yet to let me live it down....but I do have a sweet scab on my knee--one that I am anxious to show.

Not solely because I think I'm cooler because of it (which I am), but it's been so long since I've enjoyed a scab. ENJOYING A SCAB?!?! I'm crazy right? I think not. There is something about a scraped knee that brings you back to the days of kick the can every summer night. I like the feeling, I just hope I suck forever.

I don't think that is a hard thing to accomplish.

Oooh, the summer in California? I am there.

Who cares about the New Year?

I would start this post off with resolutions and the bright year that lies ahead, but I think its been beaten into our heads around this time of year....and I believe that should be our outlook period. We should strive for the best, and better ourselves continually. Unfortunately, many of us concentrate on that in January--then get too busy mid Febuary. I'm guilty of that too, no finger pointing here-just honesty.

Onto the postcards...

I now know I am not the only person who has morbidly wished for this. Need I say more?

The second really touched me, not just because of the overall meaning of the card..but because I can relate to the kid that had to deal with instances like that. Kids know more than you might think... Also, a person commented on the postcard saying that the postcard gave them the idea to buy a pinata and invite friends to put their secrets in and 'beat the shit out of it', and read all the postcards aloud after.

Sterling, get ready---do I have any takers?